The Royle Wiki
Christmas with the Royle Family
Christmas with the Royle Family.JPG
"Snowballs My Arse, its a bloody swiz this Christmas lark!"

Original Broadcast:

25 December 1999

Written by:

Caroline Aherne, Craig Cash, Carmel Morgan

Christmas with the Royle Family is the seventh episode and Christmas Special of series two of The Royle Family.


Barbara is emptying the plates in the kitchen when she recieves a call from a heavily pregant Denise upstairs who tells her she is coming down on the mobile Dave got her for when she goes into labour.

When Denise and Barbara express their thoughts on the mobile, Dave tells them that it is for when the baby is born and their expense. Nana then wakes up and expresses that the Avocat makes her sleepy and Jim offers her another one and starts laughing. Antony expresses that when he is going to Emma's and causes a big outburst when he tells the family that they have a nut roast and play parlour games and Dave isn't happy when Denise doesn't want to go to his parents house. Jim then switches over the telly and causes distress with Norma and she tells him that she likes Noel Edmonds.

Barbara then asks everyones opinion on the turkey and gets back mostly negative feedback and this makes her consider not to buy one next year which causes an outburst and she is told that they have to have a turkey at Christmas. Then she goes to get everyone a snowball and Norma drinks her one right down after remembering her husband and shocks Jim. Barbara then tells Denise about their Millennium party and Jim slags it off saying they are only trying to get more money out of him. Antony tells the family that Emma's parents have a widescreen telly and Jim expresses that he must have money to burn, then the rest of the family express how they would love one and as usual Jim reveals the downsides. Barbara then offers everyone a sausage roll but they all decline, but Norma suddenly asks for a Date, then Antony heads off to Emma's, but not before Jim gives him a round of Charades.

Jim then starts to feel sorry for Elsie on her own and this persuades Norma to go and see her, but they settle down again and Jim coughs in Dave's direction to get moving.

Then Denise heads up to the toilet and Jim asks Barbara to do him some soldiers for his tea and also asks her to tell Denise to bring the Radio Times down and when she goes to the stairs to ask her, she tells her to come up and Denise is in tears because her waters have broken. She quickly rushes downstairs to phone the hospital while Jim is forced to go upstairs with the birthing tape and he starts to comfort her and in tears tell her about when she and Antony were born and that he would have done anything for them. They then sit and listen to the tape until Barbara comes up and tells them the taxi is on its way and they head downstairs and the doorbell rings and Dave enters with a shocked face and Denise slags him off. The taxi arrives and they head to the hospital but not before Jim switches off the telly and all the lights and stating that he isn't made of money. He shuts the door and the camera heads across the room to the Christmas Tree while "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" plays in the background.

My Arse![]

"Parlour Games My Arse!" (x2)

"Snowballs My Arse!"

Crinkley Bottom My Arse!"

"The Millennium My Arse!"

Christmas Day My Arse!"