The Royle Wiki
"Not Halloween is it?"

Original Broadcast:

13 November 2000

Written by:

Caroline Aherne, Craig Cash

London is the fifth episode of series three of The Royle Family


Barbara is admiring Baby David's bottom and she waves him goodbye to everyone and gives him to Antony to put him up to bed. When he comes down, he resumes peeling the potatoes and asks around everyone to borrow some money.

Then Barbara announces to everyone that Antony is going somewhere next week and Antony announces that he and Darren are going to London to try and get their band tape recognised, but Jim slags him off and promises him that nothing good will come of it, then he starts to criticise London and its alcohol. Then he starts to fantasise to Antony about getting a big record deal but ends it with it being a dream and tells him his head is full of magic. Denise asks him if he is taking Emma, but he says no and they are convinced that he is going off her, then they are amazed by his juggling skills and Dave shows off his hand skill which amazes Barbara.

Then Antony's mobile rings and he and Darren start to talk and practise their Ali-G impressions. Then Denise surpises everyone when she defends him and makes Barbara proud, then Jim tells him to take care of himself, once again surprising everyone and Antony, who feels very happy afterwards.

Then Nana suddenly comes in from upstairs, prompting Jim to joke about it being Halloween and she presents the statistics of her attempts on the toilet. When she finds out that Antony is going to London, she opens up her handbag and removes a lot of unexpected stuff, before opening her purse and giving Antony £3, prompting Jim to put on his tight faced expression. Then the family sit in silence while watching a man going around different shops, trying to find different items for people.

Norma then tells Barbara that she will go up and have another try, but Jim interrupts and announces that he wanted to go first, then they fight over go can go on the toilet. Then she tries to remember who made a bra out of a pair of slippers and Jim tells her it was Joanna Lumley but she made a pair of slippers out of a bra, then Norma laughs over it and leans forward and farts, then goes up for another try, once she is gone the family start to laugh over her recent outcome.