The Royle Wiki

The Royle Family At Christmas
The Royle Family at Christmas.JPG
"Roger My Arse!"

Original Broadcast:

25 December 2000

Written by:

Caroline Aherne, Craig Cash

Guest Starring:

Sharon Duce, John Henshaw


The Royle Family at Christmas is the seventh and Christmas Special of series three of The Royle Family.


The Royles are singing Happy Birthday to Baby David and as soon as his candle is blown out, Jim sends him up to bed and Antony, after everyone says goodnight to him, does the deed. Then the family sit down and prepare for Emma and her parents to arrive, while Dave discusses, making a petrol station for Baby David and Barbara talks to Darren about his brothers in prison on Christmas Day and is amazed to find out that some people don't celebrate it.

Then the doorbell rings and everyone quickly gets ready and Roger and Valerie come in they all get introduced and Barbara and Antony get their coats and she hurriedly tells Jim to put some music on and while Valerie is not looking, Barbara and Denise try her coat on, while Roger discusses with Jim his job occupation. Then Barbara gets crackers and matches everyone up and they pull them.

In the kitchen, Emma and Antony each apologise for their dad's behaviour and Darren does as well unintentionally. Back in the other room, Roger announces that he bought Valerie Breast Implants and a Dyson for her birthday and they gawp at them, while she looks uneasy. Then Roger shows off by announcing that they are going on a cruise next year and blabs about his worthy possessions.

Meanwhile in the kitchen, Antony and Emma show Darren a picture of the baby's ultrascan and then announce to him that they want him to be the Godfather.

Back in the other room, Jim and Dave are admiring Roger Jaguar and tells Jim that he has a secret lapdancer down in the country. Then Emma and her parents head off and Jim says a big loud goodbye to him, but once he closes the door, he starts to slag him off and blames Dave for being all over him, then he heads upstairs and goes to see Baby David and tells him what Roger has got and he hasn't.

Meanwhile downstairs, Denise asks Barbara whether Jim thinks they still haven't got him a present, then he comes in and sits down and they give him his present in an envelope, he opens it and realises he has got Sky and rejoices, "Rodger My Arse!"

My Arse![]

"Finger My Arse!"

"Rodger My Arse!"


This was the last and meant to be the last ever episode of The Royle Family because Caroline Aherne (Denise) was moving abroad from Britain because of public stress. But the show returned in 2006 when the two writers Aherne and Cash made a one-off special.